Do you want to grow up?

There are times when one thinks about oneself and doesn't know what he is doing. Human beings work on instincts. Everyone sees the world in his own way. And more you start believing in yourself, the more vulnerable you become. The reason is simple. It is very easy to accept the decisions others make as you do not feel responsible for it. But when you start making decisions yourself, you are worried about the consequences. You are answerable to yourself if things do not turn out the way you want. As a kid, you are careless and so happy. You do not care for anything. You are living in a world free of doubts and uncertainities.

There is a time in life, when one "grows up". Well, perhaps I do not quiet understand it or I should say that I do not want to understand it as I never like the idea of growing up. But, I guess it has something to do with person becoming more confident about oneself and starting to believe in oneself so much that one thinks that (s)he can make best decisions. One starts doubting everyone else. This is alright till things are going well as it fits into the thought process. But, it makes one even more vulnerable to failure. It becomes more and more difficult to accept a failure as every success makes you think that you are on right track.

But life is not a bed of roses. One is bound to fall at times. From there on, it is a fight with oneself. It is very easy to give up but I guess nobody would like to do that. After all, you had got confident and believed in yourself and you can not let yourself down so easily. And as I can not relate to that at all, I would skip that. So, what does one do from there on.

Either one can carry on and justify oneself and keep on going with it or one can say to oneself that failures are part of life and they act as learning phases to make yourself even better. Both of these are not easy ways. One runs a risk of remorse in first one and the second way is so tough by definition. It is all about how you want to look at yourself at end of the day.

Let me come back to the point of growing up. If this is what growing up means, do I really want to grow up? I guess I do not have an answer yet. Ask any kid, don't they really want to make their own decisions. They are waiting to get old one day not knowing what is waiting for them. And to be frank, I don't think one should really regret. It is still exicting to design your life. One just needs a right frame of mind and the zeal for oneself.