Me... Who am I... I am happy that I don't know...

This is something which I never thought I would do. I am writing a blog. What is a blog? I never liked the idea. Or did I try to understand the idea? I never read anyone's blog because I thought these things are stupid. Sometimes I used to get the links of the blogs of my friends. I thought it is just another way of killing time. Everyone wants to be heard. And it is a good medium. But why should I be bothered. I do not have time for all this stuff. I do not accept things too easily, do I? Well, that is the point where I can start.

There is something in everyone which makes you believe that you are different in a special way from others. I believe it is too strong in me. It gives me confidence to go on. But I never understood myself and for that matter I never tried. Am I making sense? Ha... Let me put it this way. I was always made to believe that I am different from others. Why? Maybe I achieved too much in life which I never expected. Or maybe its a basic nature of human kind to look out for moments to feel special. Anyways, it is not about this.

I wanted to talk about the question without looking for answers. And the question is this: Do you know who your are? I think everyone has an answer for this as people do not like the idea of not having the answer for it. After all it is about your own identity. But, I like the idea of not having the answer for it. It gives you so much freedom. Imagine, a child who is just starting to walk or just starting to understand the things around him. There is so much to explore, there is so much to know. That child is just starting the journey. Not burdened by the thoughts of what he is, what he wants to do in life. Every new step is fun. It is undiluted fun. And that is what I relate to. I like being that child forever. I want to know more and more things. I want to explore more things as if I am just starting my journey. That's where the search begins. I wake up everyday and look at life for something new. Some things which will be different from yesterday. Obviously, life has a habit of being painfully monotonous. But that is where you pitch in. You can do things in a different way. You can do very basic things differently and monotony of life will never haunt you. Have you ever tried how can you vary your breakfast everyday? Have you ever thought how you can drive your car differently everyday? I sound crazy. Yeah, sometimes I think that. I am no writer. But I would make another attempt to convey my thoughts.

Have you ever tried looking at the people around you with so many diverse interests? Everyone is unique in something or other. Maybe good or bad. But thats a relative thing and I do not want to get into that. The point is that if you just learn one thing from everyone around you, life will be totally different. Am I contradicting myself? Perhaps, yes. I said that I do not accept things easily and then I say that I want to learn from everyone around me. But the idea is to be yourself in whatever you do. On the way, you are bound to be impacted/inspired (or whatever is the appropriate word for it) by others. But you are not supposed to copy anyone. You have all the freedom to take it the way you want. And one can always enjoy doing it a thing which others are doing by varying it in his own "special" way. And this is how I define myself. I am nothing but an assortment of all the people I meet and talk to in this journey called life. My previous experiences teach me to filter things out. And this continues. I do not define myself. I just carry on adding to myself without looking back on what I have gathered. Well, now you would say that what is so special about it. This is true for everyone. If you don't say that, great. I feel happy that I am special. And if you do say that, I am even happier that I am a normal person. This is how I believe in taking life. Being happy with oneself is the best thing one can do in life. Do whatever you want to do, listen to everyone in life, do it the way you would like it to be. But if you are not happy with yourself, there is no point in being right or being special or being someone to look upto. There is a catch though. If I am happy with myself, I will never change for better. But if you are following me from the start, I think I do not need to answer this.

I hope I have spent a good deal of time on searching for an answer to who I am. And I kept on arguing that one should not look for answers to such stupid and silly questions. That is why my friends tell me sometimes that I am confused. But I am happy being confused because I am definitely confused about the fact that how I am confused. And I do not bother about it as long as I am happy with myself.

Finally, this blog was dedicated to myself and my home alone weekend with a lot of rain around. I did something new again though I had very few options. But I liked the experience and I will be back here.